We all, I think try and hold back emotions, our true feelings and selves sometimes but more often than not this will find a way of exploding.
Recently with the stress of having to cancel my event through what I felt what lack of support, understanding, ticket sales, my partner losing his job, health issues, and general life stress it all exploded in to a cluster fuck of shit. One big explosion of emotion that took my feet from underneath me.
I am still not 100% and the level of pure anxiety from the aftermath of everything recently is still lingering and while I may simmer for a while, it it is taking the smallest things to bring that back to the boil.
Everything is uncertain at the moment from where I am going to where I am going to live, the fact rent can’t be paid, I may not be able to continue on to level 3 of counselling course that I have worked so hard to complete level 2 due to funds, what is going to happen to us a family……It’s fairly overwhelming right now but one thing I have learned recently is to choose who I work with closely in relation to mental health projects and also that melting in to a million pieces is okay, it’s necessary sometimes. We are human, we all have limits – you have limits. Don’t ever think that breaking and crying and despairing is weak or isn’t okay somehow, because it IS okay, because you, me, all of us, we are in the words of Rag ‘n’ Bone Man “Only Human After all”