Posted in Uncategorized

Life, Learning, Counselling Mental Health Displays & Mental Health Handmade!

So this last few weeks have been busy, tough, fantastic and a little messy all rolled in to a ball! Off the back of that tonights post is a bit of a chaotic mix much like the feel of my last few weeks!

First of all I passed my level 2 counselling course (YAY!) and have started my level 3! I hope to go on to the level 4 following this to become qualified and this is a HUGE step for me. I also want to show others that it doesn’t matter if you are late to the game and that fulfilling goals and dreams can be done when YOU are ready, at the right time and at your own pace! There is too much pressure on achieving NOW and with young people supposidly needing to know what they want to do immediately!

My mental health awareness displays at Birmingham New Street Station have had such a lovely response across social media and I am really planning on contacting other train stations to try and roll this out!

I have been having a bit of a pants time personally with having a lot to do lately, not being too well while waiting for an operation and also looking after a family member at the same time add to that kids, college, homework, my partner struggling to find work, money being tight, feeling like I have cabin fever with days out seeming like something of the distant past…..You know what it’s like – sometimes it just feels like being bogged down in crap and running from one thing to the next with no real break and I have been struggling with all of that recently. I have sat wondering why I do what I do, why I am what I am, where I am going, feeling like what’s the point really?!

I have also gone back to counselling myself for some personal sessions after some rather crappy family stuff which left me feeling really lost and quite frankly – really shit! There is no shame in needing to talk, needing to ask for help – even if you are training to be a counsellor yourself. Fun fact – counsellors have to have supervision ie someone to go to not only to ensure they are working ethically but also to go to for support and to get advice….

I know now however, that me now vs me then (Even back just a few years) is a big step forward. I feel these things but I trust in where I am going, or at least to attempt to follow the path which if nothing else is a bloody start vs me five years ago!

Sometimes thats all we can do. Keep the faith, hold to the hope and follow out current path and see where it leads!

As usual my two big distractions have been reading and craft! I LOVE books! They allow for real self care time for me and if you are not a “reader” I whole heartedly reccommend trying out some books, finding a genre you love (for me it’s psychological thrillers!) and giving it a go. It really allows me to switch off and be transported somewhere else.

I treated myself to a little second hand book case (£10!) Added some lights ans flowers and voila! A little prettiness to hold all my “to be read next books”

I have also been making new items for my ETSY SHOP – I make a lot of mental health related gifts as I find them fulfilling to make knowing they go to people who need a little pick me – Do feel free to have a nosey!

Sometimes life feels messy, sometimes it is chaotic, tiring, it feels upside down and back to front but keep going, ride the rollercoaster, do the things that work for you because while there are downs there are ups and somewhere along the line we will have an awesome ride and if nothing else an adventure along the way. Life lived is better than no life lived at all ♡

You’ve got this ♡

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Gifts For Those Struggling With Their Mental Health – Mental Health Awareness Week ♡

As it is Mental Health Awareness Week I wanted to share a very small selection of my mental health related gifts in my Etsy shop.

As some of you may or may not know I have an etsy shop!

Creativity is a huge part of my being and always has been. I love to make!

I doubly love to make and merge that in to mental health a positivity related gifts so below is a small selection of examples of what I make and sell!

You can see my Etsy shop here

Feel free to have a nosey and treat yorself or somone else this Mental Health Awaress Week to let them know they matter and are thought of ♡♡♡♡

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Mental Health Awareness Week Hope

Mental Health Awareness Week 2019 13th – 19th May.

I decided to repeat the project that I did for World Mental Health Day last year and reattach “Hearts Of Hope” to my local park entrace.

I hand wrote around 200 hearts and tags with messages of hope and inspiration, adding the number for the Samaritans and SHOUT – the fantastic new crisis text line that I volunteer for.

This had such a fantastic response last year with conversations happening around mental health in a place and situation that it wouldn’t normally occur. People talked to each other in the street and I recieved such lovely messages that I decided to do it again for Mental Health Awareness Week.

The hearts are all removeable so if someone is struggling with their mental health or know someone that is they can take a heart of hope away ♡

Sometimes the smallest of things can make a big difference and I hope these hearts can help just one person who maybe hasn’t spoken out yet and finds the courage to or that it once again sparks converstation around mental illness.

It is so imporant to me to raise awareness and provide hope to others having struggled for most of my life with my mental health and I really encourage anyone to do something similar in their area as it really can help someone!

As well as my hearts of hope project , just in time for Mental Health Awareness week the paperback format of my book In Bloom Not Broken is now available on Amazon ♡♡♡♡

Katie Maylea - Mental health - In Bloom Not Broken
In Bloom Not Broken – mental health book – Katie Maylea

This is my journey through mental illness offering insight and hope.

It is also available in ebook format and as part of Kindle Unlimited if you are signed up to that 🙂

If you are in the UK you can get it HERE

If you are in the US or use Amazon . com you can get it HERE

I would be so grateful if you consider buying a copy and can support me sharing my story (It’s quite a scary thing to do!)

If you do decided to read it please do leave a review on Amazon, they mean the world to me ♡♡

Whatever you do this Mental Health Awareness Week make sure you take care of you and don’t be alone with difficult feelings – If you are struggling please do reach out. Samaritans, SHOUT – whatever organisation it is, there are people waiting to listen and help so please do use them if you need someone.

You are not alone.

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Fancy My Book For FREE?!

Fancy reading my book In Bloom Not Broken for FREE?

FREE EBOOK AVAILABLE TODAY AND TOMORROW HERE

I’m so happy that it’s in the top 3 over 3 categories on Amazon today in free books (there’s a LOT of free books on Amazon so i’m 😁😀 )

Free mental health book In Bloom Not Broken
Free mental health ebook

I am so glad I get to do these free download periods now that I have re published it on my own as the point of it was to always help others and raise awareness..Not making money from it and I have more control over it being more accessible to more people now 🙂

One thing I ask is pretty please with a cherry on the top leave a review (hopefully a good one 😉 when yoy finish as it really helps others gain trust in the book and it helps it get seen on amazon. I lost ny original reviews when I republihed so this would mean a lot plus I love to hear the impact it has had and how it may have helped ♡♡♡

It’s free today and tomorrow so grab it it now HERE

Posted in mental health, mental health awareness, mental health campaigner, Uncategorized

Lord Mayor Award!

I am still in shock that I received this letter telling me that I am getting a Lord Mayor Award!

This last month or so has been a rollercoaster of some amazing things and some terribly stressful things.

In about a month I have almost completed a course I never thought I would have the ability to do, I have changed my surname by deedpoll for personal and emotional reasons, walked away from my remaining parent who I desperately wanted a relationship with but realised this was never going to happen, struggled to buy food due to job loss, had to talk to the council about social housing and possiblity of homeless registers, then had some amazing person pay my level 3 counselling course fees anonomously which blew me away then this dropped through the door!!

Talk about roller coaster!!!

Some terrible stress mixed with the most amazing things has left my emotions feeling a little all over! However I am so immenseley grateful for the good lately and these incredible moments that have picked me back up. I don’t know who paid my course fees but I don’t have enough words to thank them.

I can’t believe that the Lord Mayor believes that I deserve this amazing recognition but I am blown away and so so thankful and I hope I am able to use this to move forward and do even more in relation to my mental health projects because that’s what I do it for, to reach people and show it is possible for things to get better and to not give in to those thoughts of suicide, that one more step is a step in the right direction, even if it feels wrong because you are still here to fight!

I wrote my BOOK and shared my story to reach as many hands of people who feel they have reached their end of hope as possible to show that if I can do it, so can anyone out there.

I do the projects that I do to create conversation around mental health and also to show people that small things that we can all easily do – they do make a difference to people. To quote the Dalai Lama:

“If you think you are too small to make a difference – try sleeping with a mosquito”

We are all capable of change, we are all capable of creating change.

I am incredibly humbled and grateful for this award (even if recieving praise I actually find quite difficult) The letter absolutely lifted me when I was starting to feel quite down and doubt myself and I am incredibly thankful for that and eveyone who supports me here and online daily. It really does mean the world to me.

This just shows though it is possible to go from being gripped by mental illness, multiple hospital admissions and wanting to die and planning just that to holding on by a thread and going on to do things (even though I still struggle and cannot say it’s perfect by any means) that I never thought I should, could or would and have found a true passion and positive in the hell that once was.

So keep going my friend, don’t give up on you. Not ever.

Posted in anxiety, mental health, mental health awareness, Uncategorized

Never Give Up On You. Ever.

Never give up on you. Never give up on your hopes and dreams. It is possible to get through the seemingly impossible.

I wanted to do this vlog to talk about feeling like we can never achieve, never be who we want and never achieve our goals and dreams.

Anyone that have read my BOOK will know the blocks that have stopped me moving forward in relation to mental illness and I just wanted to tell you all why even when you feel like it’s impossible, like you will never be able to work towards your goals, like you will never get past just not wanting to be around anymore…..Why things can and do change and to say just never give up on you. Even when it’s all you want to do. I have been there. I may even go back to being there at some point because mental illness follows us around but I do know now that if I have got through it before I can again…and again….and again. It’s totally possible to find a space in your brain that will eventually tell you the same even if you don’t feel that way now.

Just don’t give up on you. Keep those goals and dreams close to your heart and don’t let them go, for they will keep you going.

 

Posted in anxiety, mental health, mental health awareness, Uncategorized

The Distance Between Now And Then Can Be Further Than You Thought.

It’s easy to underestimate how far we’ve come – even when it’s all crashing down.

I haven’t posted for some time because, basically everthing started falling apart.

I had to cancel my event first and foremost because I didn’t feel I had enough support. Every aspect of the event was pretty much organised single handedly and It was a lot for one person. Add on to that one person that had been really poorly and I was desperately trying to bring it all together by myself. Add to this my partner losing his job, trying to catch up coursework that I had missed while ill and I realised that I just couldn’t do it anymore.

That was a blow for me, I don’t like admitting defeat and I had started out very excited about it but I realised that I was doing way too much alone and I was going to break. Then I realised how far I had come from the past in being able to realise this, stand up for myself and move on. In the past I would have carried on going and not said a word about how I was feeling, let alone stood up to someone I looked at as higher authority and not accepted the way I was being spoken to. The event may have felt like i’d failed but ultimately I realised I had made massive steps here!

Now to the current situation…..I will cut a long story short but my partner lost his job, the money I get has kept us in food….JUST. The internet, TV and my phone have all been disconnected at points and we have had to borrow money for food at times. He was contracting after he got made redundant a few years ago – therefore self employed – therefore told he cannot get Job Seekers allowance or any help (A nice screw you from the government there as this is someone thats worked since 16, paid tax and never been on benefits) So we have been on a countdown clock on him getting a job in time before we are forced to ask for an eviction notice, to be put on the homeless register to get housing help which will include temporary accommodation with a 5 year old who loves her current school and would have to leave, 2 dogs and furniture we can’t afford to put in to storage. We have tried and contemplated every other way but it’s just led to the inevitable which is coming ever closer.

To add to that I am 2 weeks off finishing my level 2 counselling course that I have waited for over a decade to do and was meant to be starting my level 3 in June but now cannot afford the course fees (with no funding help as it’s a small training centre) – That hurts a lot as this is my dream that I finally thought I was going to do but now is looking unlikely so all my classmates will move to level 3 apart from me and I am totally gutted.

Finally and hugely add to the shitstorm that I finally told my Mom how I felt about our relationship (I think after so much going on it tipped my balance of being able to continue feeling like half a daughter – not one that really mattered anyway) and ended up having a blow out on Mothers Day and we are no longer talking. This has caused a whole storm of emotions and has been really difficult.

Mix all that together in a nice big pot of what the hell and it’s safe to say it’s not been an easy time.

The reason I am saying this is because in times past I would have melted by now. I would have simply not coped.

Am I saying I have my shit together? HELL NO.

However I am more of a functioning human in this curent situation that I once would have been.

If we lose our home, if we end up in temporary accommodation, If my Mom can’t see past the end of her own nose and isn’t willing to change…..What can I honestly do about any of it? I have tried, I have thought, I have confronted and looked at the whole situation…What more can any of us do realistically about a situation?

I have realised over the the years that sometimes acceptance is the best policy. Accept yourself, others, situations – change what you can and leave what you can’t.

I’m exhausted and stressed and heartbroken…..But I haven’t broken…YET. That’s a million miles from where I once was. How far you’ve come is easily forgotten. Strength sometimes comes when you have no choice but it’s also possible in these times to see progress even when it may feel like everything is crashing down.

So even if you don’t feel strong right now – The chances are you’re stronger than you think ♡

My Journey through Mental Illness available on amazon – search “In Bloom Not Broken”

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